As a mom, wife, and musician, I often get asked the question, “Is your husband supportive of your music?” My answer is always the same: “I couldn’t do this if he wasn’t, at least not and stay married… or happily married anyway.”
While I can’t imagine it would be easy for a man to be a musician without the support of his wife either, somehow the fact that it’s usually a male musician asking leads me to believe that it can be and is done. Not a complaint or criticism of men. I happen to be very fond of them.
This whole man cave thing, for example. Love the concept. A man works hard, is stressed, and when he comes home from work, he needs a little down time. His man cave. Free of screaming kids and “Honey Do’s.”
Really? Is that an option?
Would anyone ask a man who’d just put in a long hard day at work what he was planning to cook his family for dinner when he got home?
While finishing up his day job, mentally writing his band’s next possible hit in his head, reminding himself to call Honky Something to book the band for their next show, and trying to catch his second wind for the martial arts class he was going to have to teach in an hour, would he actually be pondering the dinner question?
My mom worked during the day, went to college at night, and still was expected to put dinner on the table — except for Sundays when she took the day off. Dad would tear up the kitchen with his ritual Sunday meal he called Sambumbia. I looked forward to it every week. After our son was born, in honor of Dad, I created my own version called “Dump and Run.” Basically, I dump as many compatible things into a pot that I can find, then go work on my drum solo while my masterpiece simmers on the stove.
Happily, my wonderfully supportive husband believes that making sure everyone in our family gets fed is as much his responsibility as it is mine. As for the man cave? Well, we can take turns, can’t we?
Bio: Former actor, dancer, and circus aerialist, Jax Resto took a hiatus from performing during which she started her own business as well as a family. Jax jumped back onto the stage in 2008 as drummer with former Mamapalooza Band of the Year Kore. In 2010, she left to start her own band of moms who rock — Female Band Invasion (FBI), a Sarasota-based original rock band that has been taking the town by storm. Click here for more: http://wwww.reverbnation.com/femalebandinvasion.
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Photo credit Ron Bergeron, Morgue File.