It’s inevitable. Around the time of my birthday, Mother’s Day and Hanukkah/Christmas, my kids are walking around wondering, “Gee, what can we get for Mom?” I’m sure they are! But don’t worry kids! I’ve made my own list for you to refer to and for all of these presents combined the cost to you is $0… but to me? Priceless.
Mommy’s Wish List:
1) Feel free to clean your room. Any time, any day. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion. Even just picking up the socks and underwear on the floor would be great. Maybe another day you can pick up stuffed animals. Another day old Chuck E. Cheese toys that never worked anyway. This is a gift that keeps giving all year long…
2) Don’t leave your dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher, and her name is not Mom. Put them in the magic machine and then you can empty it when they’re clean!
3) Note to oldest child: if you are taller than your mother, don’t ask her to make your after-school snack. Put down the Wii remote, pick your butt up off the couch to make it yourself!
4) Don’t take any pens off my desk. And while we’re at it, don’t take the tape, the Post-Its, the paper clips, or the computer, for that matter.
5) Speaking of the computer, don’t ask me what my password is, and don’t look over my shoulder trying to figure it out!
6) If it’s after your bedtime, and I am in the bath eating ice cream and reading People Magazine, do not come in, do not ask me what I’m doing and do not ask if you can have a bite. Go directly to bed, do not pass “Go”, do not collect $200.
7) Note to Hubby: If you offer me a back rub, I’m expecting only a back rub. ‘Nuf said.
8) Please don’t leave food in your backpack for more than three months. It will cause me to walk around the house for days saying “what smells in here?” And I will be unsuccessful at finding the source until the day comes when I blindly stick my hand in there and pull out an apple, that looks like a prune and feels like the inside of a used diaper.
9) If you see cat puke on the floor or carpet, it’s okay if you want to clean it up. Don’t tell me that you don’t know how to do it, because I’ve seen you watching ME do it many times, and you’ve even made some insightful comments. You know where the paper towels and Nature’s Miracle are.
10) Please let me know that your karate pants are dirty and in the laundry pile more than 5 minutes before you need to wear them. Plus, we have another magic machine, God bless it, and you can use it too! As long as you don’t “Bobby Brady” the soap in there, you’re good to go.
11) You don’t get dessert every night. I do. End of discussion.
12) And while we’re at it, don’t ever, ever, EVER eat the last Weight Watcher’s ice cream bar… EVER!
13) If the dog scratches at the back door please tear yourself away from “America’s Funniest Videos” to let her out. What? You didn’t hear her scratch? How come you can hear me sneaking into your Halloween candy from a mile away? How come you can hear my phone ring in my purse in a crowded mall? What? Did you say you want an allowance? I didn’t hear you…
And last but not least, my all time favorite gift of all time –
14) If you have a bad dream it’s okay to come into the bed with me. If you feel like you’re going to throw up, please wake Daddy. And tell him not to use the good yellow towels…
Bio: Sue Fabisch is the writer and creator of Motherhood the Musical, now getting rave reviews in Australia:
“Motherhood the Musical serves as a deserving celebration of the complex career of motherhood. I hope that it encourages stressed out mums to break into song! It is delightful to see musical theatre at its most accessible, and at a short but sweet running time of 90 minutes without interval, everyone can find time to see this show.” (Angie Bedford, Web Wombat Theatre)
And Gordana Andjelic-Davila, ArtsHub, calls it, “… a hilarious, extremely well performed ray of sunshine for mothers of all ages who experience the show as a sort of therapy-through-laughter. I know I did.”
She has also written #1 hit songs for other artists and her own Billboard Magazine Top 10 Comedy album. For more about Motherhood the Musical, visit www.MotherhoodtheMusical.com and for more about Sue and her company, Mommy Music, Inc., visit MommyMusic.com.
We can’t wait to see the Museum of Motherhood – it’ll take care of our wish list for quite some time. Help us get there! Support MamaBlogger365 and help the Museum of Motherhood secure a permanent home in 2011! Send your submissions to MamazinaMagazine@gmail.com.