Recently I ran into an old friend from my circus days who commented that I look the same as I did 25 years ago. I don’t, of course. I think I just possess a quality of eternal youth that comes from the simple philosophy of “Why not now?”
How many things have we passed up in life for whatever reason? Too young? Too broke? Too busy? Too unconventional?
At 36, my Why Not Now philosophy resulted in my buying my first drum kit, and taking up martial arts—basically I was reliving my adolescence, except this time, I was married, a mom…oh, and much cooler.
Though I have a lot less time to do all the wonderful things I didn’t do when I was young, single, and childless, somehow none of the former questions: How do I afford it? How will I get there? Why wasn’t I born a boy?, invade my thoughts. The only question I ask myself was, “Why not now?”
Thirteen years, a national gold medal, and an exciting music career later, as I watch my child grow into a young adult, I try not to focus on the depressing reality of getting older. Instead, I wonder what other childhood fantasies I reasoned myself out of–and feel myself grow younger with every adrenaline rush that screams, Why Not Now?
Bio: Former actor, dancer, and circus aerialist, Jax took a hiatus from performing during which she started her own business as well as a family. Jax jumped back onto the stage in 2008 as drummer with former Mamapalooza Band of the Year Kore. In 2010, she left to start her own band of moms who rock–Female Band Invasion (FBI), a Sarasota-based original rock band that has been taking the town by storm. www.reverbnation.com/femalebandinvasion.
As mothers, it can be difficult to find the time and energy to focus our attention on ourselves, but sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. And in order to make the changes we desire to see in ourselves, as women and as mothers, it is vital to keep certain things in mind.
To begin, you MUST ask yourself — and answer — this question: WHY?
Why do you want to embark upon this change?
Perhaps for you, it’s losing weight; perhaps you have a different change you’d like to make. That’s great. You have to know why you want to do this.
Why do you want this? Why is this important to you?
Be honest with yourself. If you make this change, what will it do for you and for your life? How will it ADD VALUE to you? Is this important enough that you are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve the results you seek?
You have to make the change for YOU: not for your kids, or your boss, or your spouse. For YOU.
It cannot be a SHOULD, something you should do because… (fill in the blank here). If you should do it but you don’t want to, you will sabotage your efforts and fail. Get honest with yourself and give up on SHOULDS. Focus instead on getting READY.
There has to be a reason and it has to be a good one. It can be simple, like your health. It need not be complicated or fancy. But it needs to be a strong motivator to break through the habits that you have now, the habits that will fight to keep you doing things the way you have been for so long.
Why is this important to you NOW? You may hold onto goals from when you were younger, still thinking you want that someday. Is today the day or is the goal outdated? Is it REALLY something you want for yourself NOW? And is NOW the right time to embark upon this change?
When you know why this change is important, then this is your purpose statement, the reason that makes accomplishing this change meaningful and powerful. With this purpose statement, you increase your confidence and are ready to take the next step.
I’d love to hear your reason for wanting your change. Please comment below — share about the change you want to make and WHY. Why is this important to you at this time in your life? I’ll share mine — I am losing 50 pounds because this is one area of my life in which I have never felt in control. I want some control. I also want to take charge
I look forward to hearing from you.
To your success in health, wealth and love,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
Author of Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!!!
In December 2004, snow and sleet were threatening south Louisiana; however all I was concerned with was my positive home pregnancy test. After months of trying to get pregnant, my husband and I felt enormously blessed on Christmas Eve to learn we were expecting. At the turn of the year, dark clouds rolled in as we learned my Dad’s brain cancer had returned. It is said that every dark cloud has a silver lining, and ours was that we were expecting not just one baby that year but two. This was a nice distraction especially for my mom and me, as we watched my dad fade away to a bed-ridden, yet still witty, middle-aged man we both loved. Only six weeks prior to the twins’ birth, my Dad lost his fight and slipped away peacefully with my mom and me by his side.
No one could ever have prepared me for the emotions I would experience the day my boys arrived. As a first time mom, I was so excited, proud, happy and in love with these two tiny beings. Okay, so they weren’t so tiny; Jackson weighed in at 6 lbs., 10 oz. and Nicholas at 5 lbs., 14oz. I was relieved that they arrived four weeks early. I don’t know how much larger my tummy could have grown, not to mention, I don’t know what hospital would have had room for us. The boys actual due date was September 4th, one week after Hurricane Katrina swept through south Louisiana and Mississippi.
Weeks turned into months and my husband and I found ourselves becoming more confident in managing two babies at time. Change one diaper, change another; feed one, feed another; bathe one, bathe the other; you get the picture. I like to call it the assembly line effect. Managing work, daycare, babies and household chores was exhausting on both of us. By the time the twins were eight months old, I felt lost and tired. After much thought and budget crunching, my husband and I agreed that I would stay home with the twins. It was only a day after I resigned from my job that I found out I was expecting, again!
Our baby girl arrived nine months later, just before Christmas of that year. The twins were so excited and loving to their baby sister. I was dealing with the differences of having a singleton versus two babies at one time. I hardly put her down the first month of her life. I didn’t have to worry about another baby. The twins were walking, beginning to talk and quite independent at such a young age. After being home for ten months, I was ready to go back to work, or so I thought. I lasted a whole six months and the anxiety took over, basically disabling me from functioning at work, and leaving me going through the motions of being a mom and a wife, but not truly living it with a true sense of vitality and life.
It took a couple of months before I listened to my family and friends; before I would seek help from a professional. Very quickly I was diagnosed with major depression. What? I just thought I was a little overwhelmed. Who wouldn’t be with three kids aged two and under, a full-time job and a husband? I left the best for last, because if it weren’t for my loving and supportive husband, I don’t know that I would be writing this today. He stepped up when I couldn’t manage the children, by preparing meals, bathing all three kids and playing and entertaining them.
With the help of a therapist, psychiatrist and my loving family and friends, I have regained a passion for living each day to the fullest and make the most of the time I have with those who are most important to me. As I worked through my depression, and continue to do so, it was through the understanding of other moms, especially twin moms, who had experienced the same issues and challenges that made me realize I was not alone.
Bio: Angelice Tyson’s Gemini Greetings was a distant dream until with the resurgence of energy, she decided to make this dream a reality. Sheenvisions warm and cheerful characters on greeting cards for families with multiples, from twins to quads and possibly more! She says, “I just knew that if I had a hard time finding cards for my twins, it has to be even more difficult for those with triplets and quads. Ideally, these cards will be suited for first time parents with no other children ages four and younger. Of course, I place no restrictions on my work, I just hope that my creations bring smiles to many faces and happiness to many homes.”
“Parents of twins are often concerned about treating each child as an individual. However, parents with multiples aged five and under are less likely to buy one card for each child to give to a playmate or relative for a special occasion. Seeking the savings from buying only one card from the two, three or more kids just makes sense.
“Within the first two years of my twins lives, we received numerous cards for holidays and birthdays that were targeted for just one child and had been scratched out or altered to fit my children‚ who were twins.”
Editorial Note: By raising awareness of the issues, concerns and challenges care-givers face, we elevate our understanding of mother’s vital role. Mamapalooza and the Museum of Motherhood are committed to empowering and amplifying the voices of women and mothers. MamaBlogger365 is just one of the ways we do this. If you have a story to tell, please write us at MamazinaMagazine@gmail.com and get involved.
Licia Ronzulli, an Italian member of the European Union’s Parliament, sat poised and focused in her parliamentary seat. Her right hand raised in a vote, her left hand turning a page on her desk, and wrapped around her body, a newborn baby asleep in a sling.
I’m a new mom too, and even though I work in a completely supportive environment, becoming a mom made me terrified for my career. For as many women as are now in the workplace, there are still relatively few successful models for new moms who want to keep their careers going. We hear about these supermoms, but they’re not usually represented in our media.
So when I saw this picture, I was moved to tears. It’s not because I think it’s so amazing that a woman could bring a baby to work (although that is pretty great) or because of a sudden hormonal surge that makes me tear up every time I see a baby. My tears are tears of relief —- here, finally, is a picture that shows that a woman can be both professional and maternal at the same time.
Merging these identities -– the professional me who likes the feel of a suit and a challenging debate and the maternal me who will spontaneously burst into song and dance about just about anything –- is hard in a world that persistently devalues the endless work of mothering while hyping up the overwork we do in our careers.
Here, finally, is a real picture of a woman I can admire. I don’t know Ms. Ronzulli’s politics or the intimate details of her own work/life balance. What I do know is that this image makes me feel proud and hopeful. Finally, here is a poised and confident woman who, by simultaneously occupying these dual roles, appears all the more so.
Bio: Katie Bethell is a tech-savvy progressive activist, feminist, mom, and writer in the Seattle area. Katie’s writing has been featured on the Huffington Post, MomsRising.org, and other leading outlets. Her consulting firm, Left Hook Consulting, specializes in bringing campaigns to the cutting edge by applying the wisdom of traditional organizing to the tools of the internet age. Visit www.lefthookconsulting.com.