My husband and I have made a choice to Attachment Parent (AP) our kiddos. The difficult part of this choice is not only that it is not mainstream, meaning that we lack resources and support, but that I often feel looked upon as “a poor sap” for rushing to my children when they need me, or scheduling nights out around my one year old daughters desire to nurse. My husband and I are confident and happy with this parenting choice and cannot imagine life any other way.
It would however, be better, if when planning a girls night out with new friends, I could say “I need to go home to nurse my daughter at ten, but I will be back soon after” without the group feeling sorry for me because they assume I must observe gender roles from 1940. I do not. My husband and I share household responsibilities, I still have my family given name, and while we are traditional in many respects, we are doing our best to eliminate gender roles for our children.
AP encourages bed sharing, self -weaning, and baby wearing, and has been receiving lots of public criticism recently stating that it is oppressive to women. What is oppressive to this Mother, is feeling that some might make inaccurate assumptions about my family and me. We are happy, progressive in many ways, and the only apron worn in this house belongs to my son.
Bio: Jennifer Andersen is excited to be involved with a project like M.O.M that will bring some visibility to the realities that mothers face. Then we may be able to start to define it, making it demanding of respect and awe.
Jennifer lives outside of Boston, with her two children ages 1 and 3. You can find more of her musings and suggestions for making life easier at www.ponderingjane.com, Honest Musing on Family Living.
REFRAMING MOTHERHOOD: As we continue with our MamaBlogger365 we’ll be bringing you the voices of mothers from around the word! Please write us at MamazinaMagazine@gmail.com to participate. We ARE looking for more contributors. MamaBlogger365 initiative posted at M.O.M. here.